My brother hates when I say this, but he's been divorced for two months and has found passionate love with a woman who seems well suited to him. Their posts on Facebook are sickening sweet but genuine and exciting as new love always is and I'm happy for them.
Me? I've been divorced two years. I've been on four dates. And my moment of excitement this week will come as I look for a new shower curtain to completely change the look of my bathroom. As I told a Facebook friend this week, hey, that IS commitment. I'm considering breaking up with the shower curtain - goldfish and lilypads - that I've had a relationship with for the last five years.
Seriously, what gives? It's been suggested to me that perhaps my intelligence, acerbic wit and love of high heels could be intimidating to men. I don't buy that. Could it be my looks, my weight? Nah, I've got plenty of men who like to flirt with me. So what is it?
It's hard to imagine myself in a relationship again, and a little scary. What happens when you have that first fight, or I stop wearing makeup or dresses because I've settled, or he starts leaving the bathroom door open while sitting on the toilet and things become so familiar that he gets bored and then cheats? Ah, looks like I'm getting ahead of myself...
But I would like to feel that little flutter of excitement for date night - painting my nails, fixing my hair to flat-ironed perfection, applying sparkly eyeliner and picking out the perfect outfit while anticipating that knock at the door.
We don't need to get married, but dinner and a movie would be nice.